August 27, 2020
1AM
was awaken by a commercial like dream about suicide (w/ theatrics and all). it broke my heart. and it lead me to prayer.
suicide. a silent killer in every household. you think everything was okay then suddenly it attacks.
suicide has killed more people than sickness and war... every hour.. everyday... every year.
possible causes: burn out, left alone/behind, identity crisis, not loved, depression, no real communication with people, dead end and many many more.
when i was a kid, i was suicidal as well. i felt left behind, i felt like i have no real friends, no real conversation with people, felt lonely and sad, burnt out by the quarrel of my parents, burnt out by being bullied in school, no rest, no haven, life with no direction and no meaning, felt like i have no future in life at all.. and many many more.
the appeal of suicide was real
i drank one glass of rubbing alcohol, i attempted to stab self in front of children to have friends, i attempted to stab my self at my room as well, attempted to hang self and many more.. but at the end of the day.. the pain i endured due to the attempted suicide did not change anything.. it just hurt me more..
and worse.. if it succeeded, it is one way ticket to hell like judas did.. and that place is more torture than the pain on earth.. (but of course, back then before i attempt it, i dont know that)
as the person attempting suicide
"what can i do then?"
*1) talk to people
i know its hard, we tried talking to people, but we felt like others would just laugh at us and won't listen nor understand what we are getting through..
there are also moments when we thought what people would say would be cliches. because others who have told us the same things did not help us at all.
but remember, there are those who does really care and are willing to listen and help.
don't be afraid to share your story especially to dear friends who will lead you to God. you can also call suicide hotlines to help you out or to Churches with right doctrines to help you out.
"Then Jesus said, “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." -matthew 11:28
relationship and not religion. intimacy and not routines. real help and real rest comes from the Lord. it is not found in religion though, but in real and deep intimacy with God :)
*2) listen
i know it is harder to listen. especially as our mind is clouded with emotions and pain. but listening also helps...
...especially to godly friends. friends who will pray for you, lead you to God, be with you in pain. won't drink nor have cigarettes nor have cocaine with you tho, but will stick and listen and advice you any time... mouthpieces of God sharing His Love to you.. for God Loves you dearly
3) seek God and godly friends
i was suicidal since nursery up to college days.. and the only One Who rescued me is God. The One Who keep me all together all those years..
it is when i was in college, that i met friends who lead me to God... they stick with me in hard times and with their help, i was able to have a relationship with God through His Son Jesus and was understand His Word through the Holy Spirit.
my view life changed then and i found TRUE rest in Him alone.
not booze, not cigarettes, not cocaine, not riches, not entertainment..
nothing in this world can give us rest and satisfaction. but God alone. not religion, not routines. but real 1 on 1 relationship with God and also fellowship with fellow believers. :)
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as the friend or relative of the person attempting suicide (whether you know it or not)
*1) listen and be sensitive
listening is a very important skill that most of us are not exercising or not doing well. most of us humans like to talk. but only few listens.
listening quenches quarrel. and listening saves lives.
and when i say listen, it is not only auditory, but also listen to the persons movement, mannerisms, behavior, and what they are going through.. in other words.. be sensitive or have empathy.
if you know a friend or relative is tired at work, you don't nag nor curse or say bad words to that person. and if ever we did it mistakenly, don't be afraid to apologize and make it up to the person.
be careful tho. even when a person laugh or smiles, it does not necessarily mean they are okay or fine. at times, those who jokes a lot and smile a lot, are those who are not speaking up with problems in their heart.
have a meaningful conversation with people. stop harsh jokes, stop trash talking, stop cursing/saying bad words.. you don't know if the stranger you are cursing or hurting is having a bad day or not. instead be a blessing.. instead, listen.
*2) apart from God we can't help them
our help alone is not enough to help them. we will be burn out as well. we need a lot of patience. and a lot of care. and the Only One Capable of unlimited patience, care, Love, and Grace is God
He is also the Only One Who can truly help inside out :) grow your relationship with God and lead your friend/relative or even a stranger to Him :)
*3) don't give up on them as God did not gave up on you
there are moments they won't listen, nor would they share.
nonetheless don't give up on them.
keep them in prayer. and be there always ready to listen and help when they need help :)
never stop praying for them :) alone we can't, but with God, we can :) grow and keep going in God :)
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**there is more i want to say but i'll just leave this here. i also found this helpful: https://www.livingwaters.com/movie/exit-the-appeal-of-suicide/#help
(credits to living waters)
**if you need someone to talk to, can comment down below and i'll do my best to reach you out :)